An elderly drover from a huge cattle station in the outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates asking to be let in.
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the driver offered.
“On a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales, there was this gang of bikes threatening some young sheila.
I told ‘em to leave ‘er alone, but they wouldn’t listen.
So, I went up to the biggest bloke, tattoos everywhere, and smacked ‘i’m in the face, kicked ‘is bike over, ripped out ‘is nose-ring, and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, “Now, back off!! Or I’ll kick the crap out of the lot of ya!”
St. Peter was impressed,
“When did this happen?”
“Oh, ‘bout a couple o’ minutes ago.”