A Guy’s First Day In Prison

It’s a guy’s first day in prison and he’s not taking to it very well.

He’s off in the corner with that thousand-yard stare, hugging himself and rocking back and forth.

An old-timer takes pity on him and walks over.

“How ya’ doing’, Kid? Having a rough time I see.”

“Yeah, well- look around. I’m in prison.”

“Awww, shit! You’ve seen too many movies! It really ain’t so bad in here- take it from me.”

“How can you say that?!? What could possibly be good in a place like this?”

“Well, lemme ask you- you like baseball?”

“Of course! Who doesn’t?”

“Well, every Monday night is Baseball Night! We all get to play! It’s a lotta fun!”

“Huh! How about that!”

“Yeah! And Tuesday is Movie Night! We all get popcorn and sodas too! It’s a hoot!”

“Wow! How about Wednesdays?”

“You like Italian food?”

“Are you kidding? I LOVE Italian food! Are you telling me–“

“Italian Food night. Yeah! We feast like there’s no tomorrow!”

“Holy cow! This is great!”

“You betcha!

“Tell me about Thursdays!”

“Oh, fug-get about it! Thursday’s are off the hook up in here!”

“What? Tell me!!!” (He’s all excited now!)

“Well, every Thursday, we all get together and…”

“And what?!?”

“And… Well, Kid, the thing is, I just met you, so…”

“So what?”

“Well, I, uh… I gotta ask you: You wouldn’t happen to be one of those, you know, homo-lovemaking, would’ya’?”

“Me? God, no! I’m straight as an arrow!”

“Oh… Well, in that case, you are REALLY gonna hate Thursdays!”