A elderly man Dave walks into a bar

An elderly man Dave walks into a bar and sees John his old friend sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.

Dave says “John what are you so happy for?”

“Well Dave, I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and a redhead came up to me… melons out to here, Dave, melons out to here!

She says “Can I have a ride in your boat?”

“I said ‘Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’

So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said ‘Its either scr*w or swim!’ She couldn’t swim, Dave, she couldn’t swim!!.”

The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees old John sat at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face.

Dave says “What are you so happy about today John?”

“Well, Dave… I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me… melons out to here, Dave, fronts out to here!

She said ‘Can I have a ride in your boat?’

“Sure you can have a ride in my boat.”

So I took her way out, Dave, way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said ‘Its either scr*w or swim!’

She couldn’t swim!!, Dave, she couldn’t swim!!!!.”

A couple of days pass and old Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer.

Dave says “John, what are you so sad for?”

“Well Dave, I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me… melons WAY out to here, Dave, chest WAY out to here.

I had more wood than my boat does.

She says “Can I have a ride in your boat?”

“Sure you can have a ride in my boat.

“So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out… much further than the last two.

I turned off the key, and looked at her melons and said

‘Its either scr*w or swim!!’.

She pulled down her pants…. she had a tool, Dave !!! She had a great BIG tool!!!

Dave, I CAN’T SWIM!!!”