Naughty Jokes
A old Texan went to Chicago
An old Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new “city” outfit.
He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, he answered,
“Yes ma’am. Ya see, I’m from Texas and I want to buy a complete city outfit.”
Her eyes lit up as she asked,
“Where would you like to start?”
“Well, ma’am, how about a suit?”
“Yes sir. What size?”
“Size 53 tall, ma’am.”
“Wow, that’s really big.”
“Yes ma’am, they really grow them big in Texas.”
“What’s next?” she asked. He replied,
“How about some shoes?”
“What size?”
“Size 15 double E.”
“Wow, that’s really big!”
“Yes ma’am. They really grow them big in Texas.” “What’s next?”
“Well, I reckon I’ll need a shirt.”
“Yes sir. What size?”
“Nineteen and a half neck sleeve 38,” he replied.
“Wow, that’s really big! “
“Yes ma’am. They really grow them big in Texas.”
“Will there be anything else?” she asked.
“Yes ma’am. I ‘spect I’ll need a hat.”
“Yes sir. What size? and style?”
“Eight and five-eighths. Stetson.”
“Wow, that’s really big!”
“Yes ma’am. They really grow them big in Texas.”
She virtually glowed as she asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“No ma’am, I reckon that will be all.”
As the sweet young thing tallied up his bill, and as the elderly Texan counted out his money, she blushed and asked, “Sir, could I ask you a question?”
“Yes ma’am, I already know what it is. And the answer is four inches.”
Astonished, she blurted out, “Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!”
Without so much as a stutter, the elderly man replied,
“From the floor ma’am……………..From the floor.”
