Joe took his blind date to the carnival. “What would you like to do first, Kim?” asked Joe. “I want to get weighed,” she said. They...
A young lady came home from a date rather sad. She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.” “Then why are you so...
Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up...
A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day...
A little girl and a little boy were at day-care one day. The girl approached the boy and said, “Hey Billy, want to play house?” He...
Jim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His wife was standing there...
Little Johnny’s teacher was grading student essays about actual family experiences. She came upon Little Johnny’s paper entitled, “The time my dad told me to jump...
A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl...
My 13-year-old grandson spent a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, “Someday, you’re going to be 30 years...
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in...
There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful!...
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or...
Two Italian couple marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom’s mother for...
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the...
Little Johnny’s brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny’s toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled “JIMMY! WHAT ARE...
Two man are talking; “My son asked me: ‘Daddy, where do children come from?'” “It’s not a big deal… Today kids are interested in that matter...
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, “I think...
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone...
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years....
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,...