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Relationship Jokes

A man and his newlywed wife

A man and his newlywed wife are about to consummate the marriage.

Both are nervous.

The man takes his shoes and socks off and the woman shrieks,

“OMG! What’s wrong with your feet?”

The husband, having grossly misshapen toes replies,

“When I was a kid I contracted toelio.”

The bride replied “Don’t you mean polio?”

The man says “No. Toelio. It affected my feet.”

Both continue to get undressed.

As the man pulls down his pants the woman shrieks,

“OMG! What happened to your knees?”

The man responded “Yeah. When I was a kid I contracted the kneesles.”

The bride asked “Don’t you mean the measles?”

The husband, having the worst looking knees she’d ever seen replied,

“No the kneesles. It affected my knees.”

Next to come off were their underwear.

The wife seeing his tool for the first time exclaimed,

“Wait! Don’t tell me. When you were a kid you had small.”


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