He went home and told his wife

Johnny O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of my wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, “Mary, I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

Johnny said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, Johnny! Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of Johnny’s drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled jeeringly and said, “Johnny won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.

You know he’s only been there twice in the last four years.

Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”