A businessman who was getting ready

There was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip.

He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he’d try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her lovemaking someone else.

So he went to a store that sold make love toys and started looking around.

He thought about a life-sized lovemaking doll, but that was too close to another man for him.

He was browsing through the weapon, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.

He explained his situation, the old man.

“Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick.

We have vibrating weapon, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except …” said the old man, and then he stopped.

“Except what?” asked the businessman.

“Nothing, nothing,” said the old man.

“C’mon, tell me! I need something!” protested the businessman.

“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is the ‘voodoo tool,’” the old man said.

“So what’s up with this voodoo tool?” the businessman asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols.

He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking weapon.

The businessman laughed, and said, “Big bang deal. It looks like every other weapon in this shop!”

The old man said, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.”

He pointed to a door and said “Voodoo tool, the door.”

The voodoo tool rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started make love the keyh*le.

The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle.

Before the door could split, the old man said, “Voodoo tool, get back in your box!”

The voodoo tool stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.

The businessman said, “I’ll take it!”

The old man resisted and said it wasn’t for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash.

The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special weapon and that to use it, all she had to do was say, “Voodoo tool, my private part.”

He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was gone.

After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny.

She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo tool.

She got it out, and said “Voodoo tool, my private part!”

The voodoo tool shot to her lap and started pumping.

It was great, like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

After three peak, she decided she’d had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting.

She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked.

Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off.

So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.

She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the weapon.

On the way, another peak nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman.

He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn’t been drinking, but that a voodoo tool was stuck in her private part, and wouldn’t stop lovemaking.

The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, “Yea, right. Voodoo tool, my bum!”