Two old friends are having coffee

Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says,

“I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!”

“Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive.”

“I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?”

“Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are.”

“I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his weapon!”

“Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his weapon!”