Little Johnny got kicked out of school today. The teacher asked him, “If I gave you twenty dollars. And you paid five dollars to Kate, five...
A man and a woman were discussing the worst pain a person could possibly experience. “Without doubt, there is nothing more painful in life than childbirth,”...
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. “No woman,” said one man, scornfully, “can keep a...
A guy wandered over to a beautiful woman in a bar and started chatting her up. Not too far into the conversation he said: “Do you...
A man goes to get his salary cheque and when he opens it he discovers that his employer has overpaid him by £2000. He decides not...
This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes...
An old snake goes to see his Doctor. “Doc, I need something for my eyes…can’t see well these days.” The Doc fixes him up with a...
A man walks into a dimly lit bar and the bartender asks him, “Why is the front of your shirt all bloody?” His customer answers in...
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what...
An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. “For instance,” he said, “some whales can communicate at a...
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch: He couldn’t return to earth. The first applicant, an...
The first grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah, “What did you do at recess?” Sarah says, “I played in the sand...
I said, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years,...
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: “You’re all part of our team now. You can...
The tourist in London climbed into a cab and noticed by the license that his cab driver’s name was Winston Churchill. Trying to make conversation, he...
A aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark...
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help....
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the edge of a desert road. Suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee screeches...
Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved his...
A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said “Chopsticks...