Fred gets home late one night

Fred gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says,

“Where in the hell have you been?”

“I was out getting a tattoo,” Fred replied.

“A tattoo?” she frowned.

“What kind of tattoo did you get?”

“I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates,” he said proudly.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain.

“Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”

“Well, for one, I like to watch my money grow,” said Fred.

“Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

“Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

“And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.”