I Was At The Pub Last Night

My wife was waiting for me to come home, but the guys promised to buy me a drink.

One turned to ten and before I knew it I was so drunk I threw up on my clothes.

“Oh no”, I uttered, knowing my wife would be really mad. Luckily one of the guys had an idea.

He slipped 10 dollars into my pocket.

I asked him why and he replied:

“You throw up on yourself and you’re a drunk idiot, but you were out and one guy threw up at you, you were just the unlucky victim.

Tell your wife someone threw up at you and even paid you 10 dollars for cleaning”.

“Good idea” I replied. “No worries after all”.

We continued drinking some more and later that night, I can’t remember when, I got home.

My wife was obviously furious. She was about to tear me a new one, but saw the vomit on my clothes.

Before she was able to ask, I gave her the money and said:

“It’s not mine. Some jerk threw up at me, but it’s fine.

See, he even gave me 10 dollars for cleaning”.

“But you gave me 20 dollars”, the wife replied.

“Yeah, the jerk crapped my pants too”!