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A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened. The man says, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church....
A nurse says to a new father, “Your baby is very pretty.” The father looks pleased, “Really? Come on, don’t you say this to everybody?” The...
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He does seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy...
A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and...
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, “Did your hear the news Mike is dead??!!!” “Woah, what the hell happened to him?”...
Two kids were talking together. First: “My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands.” Second: “That is...
A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came...
A nun and a priest decide to take a day off, so they go golfing. The nun gets a hole-in-one, but the priest hits it into...
The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read...
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in...
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker...
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, “I’m a salesman. What about you?” “I’m a hit man for...
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital’s emergency room on the other end. “Sir,” explains the doctor, “Your wife was in...
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what...
Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing: “Last night I saw a terrible nightmare.” “What did you see?” “I saw my mother-in-law swimming...
A man goes into a library and asks where he can find books on suicide. ‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian. The man replies,...
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t give you cyanide just...
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the...
A old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon...
A guy walks in the local brothel, says, “I want the cheapest one you got, I don’t have much money.” The guy behind the counter says...
